This Is Not A “Prank”

You do not throw water balloons at moving cars. People will die; possibly even you, you ass.

Guess Who Really Poops On Mother Nature?

Not SUV-driving Right Wing Death Beasts. No, the evil-doers are granola-chomping mountain climbers.

The unsanitary conditions created by piles of human feces on Mount McKinley can cause diarrhea among climbers, which can lead to widespread problems when combined with the physical stress of a mountain expedition, according to the report in the journal Wilderness and Environmental Medicine.
Of 132 climbers interviewed on the 20,320-foot (6,200-meter) peak in the summer of 2002, more than a quarter reported having trouble with diarrhea, said the report, which was conducted by officials with the Alaska Division of Public Health.

New Jersey is more sanitary than Mt. McKinley. Take that (instead of Shinnecock), teary-eyed Native American Person!

Did Senator Durbin Mean What He Said?

Of course he did. And I read about it and thought perhaps cooler heads would prevail. He’d say ‘I didn’t mean any blah, blah, blah’, his supporters would say ‘he never meant to blah, blah, blah’ and that would be the end of it. But it seems Senator Durbin is sticking with his comments.

“If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime _ Pol Pot or others _ that had no concern for human beings,” Durbin said.

He ratcheted up the hyperbole a couple notches, managing to lump us in with every group of bad guys for the past 100 years, while reciting this:

On a couple of occasions, I entered interview rooms to find a detainee chained hand and foot in a fetal position to the floor, with no chair, food or water. Most times they urinated or defecated on themselves, and had been left there for 18-24 hours or more. On one occasion, the air conditioning had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. . . . On another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees. The detainee was almost unconscious on the floor, with a pile of hair next to him. He had apparently been literally pulling his hair out throughout the night. On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but extremely loud rap music was being played in the room, and had been since the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal position on the tile floor.

Stacked up against the abominations perpetrated against the people of Russia, Europe, Cambodia, et al, broken thermostats and Christina Aguilera seem a little weak as the basis for such withering criticisms. (Ask any Jarhead/Soldier patrolling Baghdad how hot it is, every day.) Express your concerns rationally Senator, without resorting to cheap grandstanding learned at the Ted Kennedy School of Dubious Pronouncements. Maybe someone would listen.
UPDATE: Feel free to EMAIL the Senator. I did. If you love us, let us know what you said. We’re nosy that way.

Reparations Are Tricky…

…so we’ll settle for the golf course.

Shinnecock Indians lay claim to valuable NY land
NEW YORK (Reuters) — The Shinnecock Indian tribe said on Wednesday it was seeking billions of dollars for 150 years of back rent on land it inhabited for 12,000 years in New York state in one of the largest suits of its kind.
The area is part of the Hamptons, known as a summer playground for New York’s rich and privileged classes who flock there to escape the heat of the city.
The tribe filed the lawsuit against New York State in the U.S. district court in Central Islip.
The suit, which also names the governor, a local railroad and the town of Southampton, lays claim to 3,600 acres of land encompassing the upscale Shinnecock Hills Golf Course and Long Island University’s Southampton College.

Don’t you long for the days when a lawsuit was just for a cup of coffee dumped in your lap?

Oh, She Didn’t Really Say That…

But it says she did. WTF are these people thinking when they run their mouths? (Wait. They’re not. Thinking, that is.)

South Africa nevertheless has a special place in Ms Winfrey’s heart.
“I’m crazy about the South African accent,” she said. “I wish I had been born here.”

I’m Not Saying Anyone I Know Needs To, But…

…stock up.

“A Whale…A Great White Whale”

I’m thinking John’s gonna wilt in that North Cackalacky heat this week…

‘The Family Business’

In Newsweek this week and please read it, for the incredible families profiled. But Newsweek f*cks it up again, in all their sloppy magnificence. To wit:
There are wonderful sidebars in the print edition that aren’t available online. One very un-Newsweek like example:

It’s Just a Different Culture
CONTRARY TO THE IMPRESSION MADE BY MOVIEMAKER MICHAEL MOORE IN “Fahrenheit 9/11″, congressmen do sometimes send their children to war. Three senators and six members of the House have children in uniform, and four of them have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. Maj. John Daniel Kline, son of Minnesota rep. John Kline, is slated to fly his attack helicopter in Iraq later this year with the 101st Airborne…”

Of course, the Moore-ons writing the sidebar, being Newsweek and all, don’t fact check JACK. How can I hurl such an accusation? They speak of Maj. Kline’s growing up an ‘Army’ brat and his dad’s service in the ARMY from ’69 to ’94, Vietnam to Somalia. The problem? There’s a picture of Maj. Kline and his dad, both in uniform and…Rep. Kline is a Colonel in the United States Marine Corps. Whoa Nelly!! What’s this?? So I rocket my puddies to Google, find the good Rep.’s webpage to verify what my lyin’ eyes have told me and…

Although this marks his first elected office, Congressman Kline is familiar with Washington, where he served as a military aide to Presidents Carter and Reagan for part of his twenty-five years in the United States Marine Corps. Mr. Kline’s responsibilities during this period included carrying the nuclear “football” – the package containing launch codes for a nuclear attack. He also advised our country’s senior civilian and military leadership, including the President. Throughout a military career from which he retired at the rank of Colonel, Mr. Kline served as a helicopter pilot in Vietnam, commanded all Marine aviation forces in Operation Restore Hope in Somalia, flew “Marine One,” the Presidential helicopter, and served as Program Development Officer at Headquarters Marine Corps.

JACKasses. I mean, how hard was that? Doesn’t it click with one of the hundredandtwentysevenpairsofeyeballs associated with this article that one of ‘these (uniform) things is not like the other’? (Especially since Marine Corps LtGen Conway has the same damn outfit on in his photo.) For God’s sake, he even flew the President’s helicopter! Pffft.
I’m so pissed, I could flush something.

When I Read This, I Was Hoping…

…she was black and then Howard Dean would have to STFU. (As IF that would happen…right.) Oh well.

Porn star Carey attends Republican fund-raiser
Candidate for California lieutenant governor rubs elbows with D.C. high rollers
WASHINGTON – Porn star, political candidate. And now you can add one more line to Mary Carey’s résumé: Republican booster.
Carey was in Washington on Tuesday to attend the President’s Dinner, an annual fund-raiser put on by the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee.
A few hours before the dinner, Carey met with reporters to show off her evening gown and talk about a Republican lunch she and her boss, adult film executive Mark Kulkis, attended.
“I met a lot of nice people,” Carey said of the lunch, where presidential adviser Karl Rove spoke. “I met some people who talked about helping me with donating money to my next campaign.”
She plans to run for lieutenant governor of California next year as an independent. But her trip to Washington has swayed Carey’s political leanings. She says she’s been a Republican “for a couple of days.”

Who says we’re not inclusive? Everyone’s welcome under the tent. (Although, if I were Mrs. Rove, I’d make sure she was just rubbing ‘elbows’.)

Today Was Flag Day

Goodnight. Sleep tight.

I Don’t Get This ‘Lynching’ Thing

You mean to tell me that forcibly removing someone from his home, his barn, his street or his place of incarceration to HANG HIM wasn’t MURDER until this Senate vote? That a noose around someone’s neck by virtue of mob rule or anything other than a jury’s determination isn’t criminally EXECUTING someone?

Seven presidents petitioned Congress to end lynchings. Nearly 200 anti-lynching bills were introduced in the first half of the 20th century. The House passed three anti-lynching measures between 1920 and 1940, but the Senate passed none.

Why did they have to ‘petition’? Isn’t the innate heinousness of the act of MURDER, by man or mob, criminal by every measure of our law? If it is indeed so, as I hope to God it is, and the Senate was being goaded to act because, by their very silence, they were complicit in this abomination, then shame and for shame on them, the craven cowards. What they should be apologising for is that they didn’t pass ANY Civil Rights legislation. The Southern Senators should be groveling for their predecessors (and current members) who wore white sheets and hoods on weekends and blocked every attempt to pass such bills for years. While people died. For shame, indeed.

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So, Bingley BASTARD…

…what other treasures have you hoarded on your world travels? WE get the ‘fat guys picking up hookers’ in Rio stories, while you keep…

Brazilian STAR WARS to yourself!! Continue on, gentle readers, for more evidence of Bingley’s tricksies…

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Do You Know Why Harvard Has…

…such a HUGE endowment? No? Give up?

So they can keep important research shit on the web.

Eight Months With The Marines

A beautiful, bittersweet Picture Story from MSNBC.com.
Swill Salute: Sgt. Grit’s Marine BS for a wonderful message board full of all things Leatherneck!

I Have to Wait For The Michael Jackson Verdict…

…before I can rampage like an oliphant through this. Okay, okay, a teeny, tiny taste…

Autry hears immigrant activists
Mayor declines to apologize for using the word ‘illegal’ in his State of the City speech.
…A coalition of advocacy group leaders sought an apology from Autry for using the term “illegal.” They told him they believed his comments last week portrayed illegal immigrants as an economic burden. They said that image fuels hatred, especially when the contributions made by immigrants are left out. Members of the coalition asked Autry to use the word “undocumented” in the future.

Scraping Crusty Dishes I Wondered…

…why ‘Palmolive‘? Now I know. File under ‘useless information/soap appreciation’.

In 1864, Caleb Johnson founded a soap company called B.J. Johnson Soap Co., in Milwaukee. In 1898, this company introduced a soap made of palm and olive oils, called Palmolive. It was so successful that that the B.J. Johnson Soap Co. changed their name to Palmolive in 1917.

I do these things so you don’t have to.

Hey Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

A quick word on gender inequality ~ same pay for the same job. Annika Sorenstam is a rampaging monster on the courses again this year; an immutable force of nature who just put away her third MacDonald’s LPGA CHAMPIONSHIP in a row. A feat roughly equivalent to Nicklaus and his green jackets. Sergio Garcia is a twitchy putz who makes doofy commercials. He managed to eke out a win Sunday at the always dangerous Booz Allen Classic and walked away with $900,000. The purse for Annika’s history making Major Championship? $270,000.
I’m so mad I’m molting.

I Love Michael Kinsley

There. I said it. I didn’t say I always agree with him, but I have always admired his ‘unshriekiness’, especially when he was still on Crossfire. He’d turn purple at Novak or Buchanan, but never came across a table, shout someone down or resort to inanities completely divorced from the subject at hand, burbled at 130 decibels just to drown out the other view. He’s simply not a rude guy and I appreciate that in this age of classless, loudmouth louts (read Begala, O’Reily, Dean, Hannity, Lawrence O’Donnell, Katrina Vander whatever, Susan Estrich*, et al ~ ‘get that sh&t off my TV’ being the operative phrase). He also provides the random surprise, which makes him no friends in the Blue State city fortresses. Such was this column about the Downing Street Memo red herring being waved on every Sunday talk show, which looks more like an Icelandic fish slapping dance than ‘smoking gun’. You won’t see his column quoted from the left anytime soon.

But even on its face, the memo is not proof that Bush had decided on war. It says that war is “now seen as inevitable” by “Washington.” That is, people other than Bush had concluded, based on observation, that he was determined to go to war. There is no claim of even fourth-hand knowledge that he had actually declared this intention.

How refreshing ~ a little integrity and a little honesty
*Note her unspeakably ill mannered feud with Kinsley. What a ‘C’ word and I never say that.

Great. I Hope Ebola Doesn’t See This

Apple’s Jobs Tells Graduates About Dropout

PALO ALTO, Calif. (AP) – Apple Computer Inc.’s CEO Steve Jobs told Stanford University graduates Sunday that dropping out of college was one of the best decisions he ever made because it forced him to be innovative — even when it came to finding enough money for dinner.

Looks Like Tomato Juice, Smells Like Tomato Juice…

Like the old Smothers Brothers routine says, not everything is as it seems.

RALEIGH, N.C. – 3,800 patients at two hospitals run by Duke University Health System were operated on last year with instruments that were washed in hydraulic fluid instead of detergent, hospital regulators said.

Maybe they thought they could cut corners since John Edwards was busy?

Powerful Words 2

I can’t claim that this installment of the exercise came after quiet contemplation under a steaming shower head. No, this frantic scribbling ensued after a commercial during 60 Minutes (don’t even start…). It was for a special, airing Tuesday, June 21st and called “AFI 100 Years ~ Movie Quotes” and we were off to the races.

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I Wouldn’t Get Between Me…

…and my cheeseburger. I can promise you a fight to the death.

“There are attempts to create ill-conceived regulations at the state level and there will certainly be rogue lawyers filing obesity lawsuits against companies,” he said. “And if Michael Jacobson has his way there will be a tax on every food product that is not a vegetable. We can’t let that happen.”

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I Agree: That Is Torture.

I love the headline on Drudge:

MAG: CHRISTINA AGUILERA MUSIC USED AS TORTURE IN GITMO

We owe this scandalous insight to Time magazine, evidently.
Hate to break it to them, but teenage girls have been using this very method to break down their parents for years.

‘Some Will Win, Some Will Lose’

So it has ever been. Watch, listen and Rock On!

(Bingley Warms Up TIE Fighter/AP Photo)
Swill Salute: to Michele.

Goddamn I Hate Spammers

They should all be shot. Now.